• 30 Deep Questions To Ask Yourself & Know Who You Truly Are

    Do you truly know who you are? Here are 30 deep questions to ask to know who you truly are.

    Never say never…

    I got to understand this statement better a few years ago after I experienced something very personal, something I promised myself never to do or indulge in (permit me not to share for now, maybe someday when I’m brave enough). I believe we all have guidelines or principles that we go by, but sometimes, we amaze ourselves.

    How well do you know yourself? Have you like me, said you’ll never do something and found yourself in that situation much later? Believe it or not, we are quick to judge others. You may not say it out loud but we do. You look at that sibling, friend, colleague, coursemate, church member, random person etcetera and think to yourself, “I don’t even understand how this person reasons” But have you tried to vet yourself in all sincerity? I mean like put yourself in similar situations and critically analyze what you would do?

    A lecturer friend of mine always said this back in school: At the end of the day’s hustle and bustle, take a few minutes to do some self-analysis and evaluation; reminisce, talk to yourself about the decisions you made. This is why sometimes before we go to sleep or in the morning, we reach out to those we erred.

    Which brings me to the question, “How well do you know yourself?”

    What was your response? Was it a yes, a no or a maybe? You can live many years on this planet without truly knowing yourself and figuring out your likes, dislikes, pet-peeves etc.

    To help you get to know yourself better, I have outlined 30 deep questions to ask yourself. These questions would enable you to know yourself better.

    Are you ready? I suggest you grab a pen or paper. A journal would work best though but in the absence of that, a pen and paper should suffice.

    Let’s begin!

    30 Deep Questions to Know Yourself Better

    deep questions to ask yourself

    1. Are you happy?

    This is one question you need to ask yourself at every point in life. Are you happy with who you are as a person? Choices you’ve made, plans you have, where you are in life? Have you tried to find out your purpose in life? How often do you smile and laugh out heartily? Know that it is okay to enjoy your own company.

    At some point in my life, I found out that I couldn’t stay alone and this enabled some relationships that I ordinarily shouldn’t have because I kept going back just because I couldn’t cope with being alone. Practice being alone without feeling lonely. Try to enjoy being a child and your child-like activities to be happy.

    Related: 20 small ways to be happy

    2. What do you love about yourself?

    What better way to know yourself than loving yourself? I hated so many parts of me while growing up but all those parts are my best features now. I never believed anyone when they told me they liked that part of me I wasn’t comfortable with because I didn’t like it myself.

    On several occasions, I imagined how I would look after having surgery to change those parts but when I first listened to “I feel pretty ” (the glee cast version and I’m currently listening to it) some eight years ago, I discarded that thought and have learnt to love every bit of me. To love yourself is truly to know yourself.

    Take some time to appreciate yourself and point out things you love. and know, it also not only about the physical attributes. Consider other factors such as personality, habits etc

    3. Deep questions to ask yourself- How do you relate with people?

    How do you qualify your relationship with people? Friends, colleagues, strangers? Would you want to relate with yourself if given the chance? Are you someone you would like to spend time with? Are you toxic? Do you need to work on your temperament?

    Many people don’t believe that they are, so how come we have toxic people around? The truth is, we have someone around us that exhibit different toxic traits. Sometimes, that someone happens to be you! yes, you!

    So ask yourself these deep questions and figure out if you are the one with the problem.

    Related: Self Sabotaging behaviors you need to quit.

    4. What is your philosophy in life?

    I’m a firm believer in humanity and not marginalizing people amongst plenty of other things. What do you believe in and why? Saying you believe in something and not practising it is not believing in it. What rules have you put in place to guide and govern you every day?

    5. What are you grateful for?

    Every day, under God’s green earth, is a good day. Start your days with positive affirmations and gratitude. Even when it’s a “bad day”, there’s always something to be grateful for. The list is indeed endless.

    6. How well do you communicate

    The importance of this cannot be overemphasized. In every aspect of life, you should be able to communicate effectively. Do you do this with precision? How often do you also listen when people talk? Do you listen to understand or listen to comment?

    deep questions to ask yourself in 2020

    7. How reliable are you?

    Are you available when people need? Do people regard you as someone dependable? Are you an ideal friend? Do people trust you?

    I remember my cousin’s friend from school who was always known to be late. Their clique of friends cannot make plans and include her because she’s always hours late. It almost cost one of them to almost miss my cousin’s wedding ceremony as she was waiting for the “latecomer” who told her she was on her way to the park so they could embark on the journey together. She eventually left and arrived very late at night while her friend (the latecomer), all the while knew she was going to travel on the day of the wedding. There are so many other instances of such people. It is terrible to be known as a very unreliable person.

    8. Do you know your unique qualities?

    What makes you stand out of the crowd? Write down what makes you, you? What is that distinct quality you have that makes people drawn to you? Do you offer good advice, are you a respectable person? Are you a leader?

    9. Do you speak up when necessary?

    Are you one to keep quiet when things wrong? Whether it is directed at you or not. What do you do to make a difference in life?

    Related: Cultivate the How to Think Before you Talk Habit

    10. Deep questions to ask yourself- Are you understanding?

    I always like to see things from two perspectives. Usually, there is always two sides to a story. I try to understand both. How well do you try to understand people, the way they reason and situations? Do you try to embrace other’s perspectives and opinions?

    11. Are you Kind-hearted?

    A little kindness goes a long way. I like to believe that one of our primary purpose in life is service; to help others. Are you patient in your dealings with people? Are you a selfless person? Would you sacrifice your needs for a total stranger? Do you go out of your way to help people? Do you think of making the world a better place?

    12. Do you keep to your words?

    A man of his words! Nothing beats this. Do you teach people to trust and believe in your person? Do people partake in something all because they believe that since you are involved, they are safe? How well do you keep to your words?

    It’s very unpleasant to be or meet people who aren’t trustworthy. I dislike people who do not keep their words and make no conscious effort to make amends.

    13. Are you goal oriented?

    Always try to push yourself past your limits. What is your greatest achievement so far? Write down what drives you.

    Do people feel comfortable with you?

    It is safe to say we all know someone we just don’t feel entirely comfortable talking with or just get tired being around that person after some time. We try to avoid long conversations with these people. Are you one of such persons? What is off about you?

    15. Do you take care of yourself?

    Heard of the phrase “take care of your body, it’s the only place you live in”? How well do you take care of your body? Do you exercise regularly or pay attention to what your body tells you? What about keeping a healthy lifestyle? Do you know about your medical background? How often do you go for a complete medical checkup? Do you show yourself love & care? How do you recharge when you’re feeling down? Music, dance, cook, self treats? This is one of the most important deep questions to ask yourself as self-love is the greatest love of all.

    Related: A Productive Sunday Routine

    16. Are you a procrastinator?

    How quickly do you do things on your to-do list? The pages you’ve kept open on your browser, when will you eventually read it? That task you’ve given yourself since the beginning of the year, why are you nonchalant towards completing it? Why do you procrastinate?

    17. Do you have mentors?

    Do you have people you look up to, who motivate you to become better? Study their lives and help add more meaning to yours because the people you look up to are the type of person you’ll become.

    18. Do you have obsessions?

    Do you have secret cravings? Or is it some fetish? How often you do fixate on it? How do you overcome it?

    19. What puts you off?

    What are your pet peeves? When does someone cross the line with you? What makes you cringe? Knowing these and effectively communicating it to people is very important.

    20. Do you have any regrets?

    I like to learn from every experience in life, move on and never burn bridges. But it wasn’t always like this. Although there are some bridges that had to be burnt. Do you have any of such that you regret, or are probably embarrassed when you think about it. Would you have done something differently?

    21. Do you plan for rainy days?

    Many people like to live in the now. But life has a funny way of creeping up on us. What plans do you have to save yourself when unexpected things happen?

    22. Do you have a circle of trustworthy friends?

    When in difficult times, have you tried reaching out to 10 or maybe 15 people that can help you out? Financially, socially, morally etc. Do you have a great support system?

    23. Do you always compare yourself with others?

    Comparison is the thief of joy – Theodore Roosevelt. Do you waste time feeling sad for yourself when you compare yourself with others? It is advisable to look at people and be motivated rather than comparing.

    Related: Millennial culture is toxic, do you agree?

    24. Do you take the blame?

    It’s one thing to be on the defence and it’s another to accept defeat. When you know you are wrong, do you apologize and move on? Apologies should be an easy tool for everyone, although it’s not and neither should it be misused.

    Refusing to accept the consequences of your actions always leads to repeating the same offence.

    25. Deep questions to ask yourself, e.g Do you meditate?

    A lot of people do not understand the effect of meditation. It helps to calm and reduce stress. Building your emotional and mental health care is important. How often do you indulge in this?

    26. Are you attached to the things of the world?

    There’s a difference between wanting a good life for oneself and being greedy about it. Are you one of those who can sell their souls to attain a status in life? Are you selfish? Vain?

    Only you can answer this deep question.

    27. Do you take corrections?

    Acknowledging your faults and turning a new leaf is a game-changer. Is taking corrections a part of your life?

    28. Do you forgive?

    Many people don’t know how to. Are you one of such? Do you easily forgive and let things go, do you forgive and not forget or are you the total opposite of all of them?

    29. Write down things life has taught you?

    Which lessons are you taking note of? What is life constantly teaching you? Have you been in awe of how things turn around? Have you loved or lost someone dear to you? Seen how karma quickly delivers a package? Have you learnt to be humble?

    30. Do you think about death?

    It’s inevitable guys. Do well to think of it and “prepare” in any way you can. Cross off all you have on your bucket list. I once heard that life is a long story about our death. Ask yourself what would your story be? What would you be known for? What would your legacy be?

    There you have it, 30 awesome deep questions to ask yourself and know who you truly are.

    Now don’t be selfish, remember we talked about it already, why don’t you share this post on ” deep questions to ask yourself ” to your friends. Let’s learn and grow together. Ciao

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    Lilian Nwaokoro
    Lilian Nwaokoro

    A work in progress…

    Intern/Contributor for Gift Collins Blog 💪

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    3 Comments

    1. May 5, 2020 / 8:57 pm

      These are really thought provoking questions ooo, I was already accessing myself and feeling bad about my answers.

      And I realized I don’t even know what to say in some of the questions…wow. Time to work more on me.

      Thanks.

    2. Lilian Nwaokoro
      Author
      May 5, 2020 / 9:19 pm

      Quite a read! Very necessary questions for one to know about themselves

    3. May 11, 2020 / 10:38 am

      Wow, this is deep. Personally, I need to work on the keeping my words part and maybe improve some relationships.
      Thanks for sharing Gift, this is a bundle.

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