• My Experience Dealing With Career Confusion & Insecurities | It’s A Rant!

    How do you know what career path is the best to follow? I ask because I’m at that stage in life where I wonder if I’m getting it right.

    Gift Collins

    Growing up, I wanted to be many things. When I was asked what I wanted to be in future, I always had more than one answer. I wanted to become a lawyer, an actress, a writer and so many others. I think at the height of this, I had about seven (7) career choices.

    But I was certain that the career choice I wanted to pursue first was becoming a Lawyer. Eventually after I tried to get into the University of Lagos to study Law and it didn’t work out, I was devastated. I later when on to study Theatre Arts & Film at the University of Port-Harcourt, a process I truly enjoyed!

    I have long lost any love or thoughts of becoming a Lawyer (even though my father is still expecting a law degree). I completely enjoyed studying theatre/film and remain forever grateful to Unilag for not giving me that admission.

    There you have it, a little background story. Now to the real purpose of this post.

    My career confusion and insecurities.

    I have been struggling within me on whether I’m on the right career path or not over the last few months.

    You see, within the last 1-2 years, I have been a proper jack of all trades and master of most.

    It all started with blogging and then I dabbled into freelancing as a copywriter, along the line, I’ve also had the opportunity to be a digital media intern and also a social media manager for a couple of brands. Add content creation/consultation/email curation to that list as well. These are just careers related to the digital world.

    On the other hand, I’ve had two major 9-5’s. The first being in marketing (oh I absolutely detested this and there wasn’t an ounce of “career confusion” on whether it was a right or wrong career path or not). Boy did I flee! I was out of that job as soon as I got in.

    However, I recently got a full time job in a field related to my course of study. I am super-duper elated and my job is amazing and I love what I do and the prospects it holds. But still I am not certain this is what I want to do for a long term.

    I’m sure at this point you are like rolling your eyes and saying get straight to the dang point woman.

    The thing is, there’s really no straight point, consider this some sort of rant post. Because to be honest, I’m writing this from a place of frustration and confusion.

    dealing with career confusion and insecurities

    I’ve heard all sorts, about how there’s this surreal genuine joy and satisfaction you get when doing something you are passionate about. But I am lost at how to figure out how I’m supposed to feel when this genuine joy hits. Because the truth is I don’t actually know what career coaches and the rest consider to be surreal genuine joy and satisfaction.

    Oh yes, your favourite blogger has been reading career books and blogs. So don’t think I didn’t exhaust all options before going on this rant. Trust me, I tried to find solutions but I ended up getting more confused.

    What about entrepreneurship?

    Oh please let’s not go there, I feel like entrepreneurship isn’t for everyone. I have no interest in selling hairs or shoes on Instagram (Disclaimer: I have absolutely nothing against them) I just feel like it isn’t something for me.

    But still I have a couple of business ideas but I’m stalling on them because I do not trust I know enough or I’m good enough or got enough to start them.

    It is a struggle!

    Sometimes I feel like I am a victim of impostor syndrome and hence keep down playing my worth/achievements.

    I actually told my best friend I feel like I haven’t got any talent or skills. Unlike people who can cook, sew or sing. She shut me up and in her defense, she asked me what do you call your writing if not a talent.

    But I don’t consider myself a writer, I mean aren’t writers supposed to have a directory of works written by them and most published on big sites or even in print?

    Guys, I just gave you a glimpse into what goes on inside my head.

    The closest explanations I have gotten for all of these career insecurities and confusions came from an Insta story I watched on @everythingnaart Instagram where she shared a video of rapper Diddy talking about how you might feel like one thing is your calling only to figure out years later that it wasn’t really your calling. Amin @everythingnaart called it a pruning stage.

    What is a pruning stage?

    From my understanding I think it to be a process through which you filter through the good, the bad and the ugly. The Cambridge dictionary defines pruning as:

    • To cut off branches from a tree, bush or plant, especially so that it will grow better in the future.
    • To reduce something by removing things that are not necessary.

    I hope you see why I resonate with this, because it looks like a perfect explanation to what I am currently facing and knowing what to call this feeling gives me a sense of calm, a sense of hope that I am not the only one going through this.

    dealing with career confusion and insecurities

    Okay, let talk about the things I love.

    1. I absolutely love writing, poetry is my first love and I have an entire book filled with poems. I also love playwriting and I am currently trying to horn my screenwriting skills.
    2. I love love love x3 blogging. I can’t explain how this feels ( perhaps it’s the surreal genuine joy I read about in those career books) but I can’t say there’s complete satisfaction as I am not making so much off this blog. So I am satisfied that I am impacting on people’s life, building a great community and all but I’m not completely satisfied that this can’t pay all my bills. I hope this makes sense!
    3. I love movies and I have a strong love for the Nigerian Film Industry and want to someday own my production house and help change the narrative of the Nigerian movie industry, one quality film at a time ( this is a long term goal).
    4. Etcetera, Etcetera, Etcetera. Because I have a couple others but I feel those mentioned above are the major ones and besides, there’s still a chance of me falling in love with something else.

    So What Now/Next?

    Nothing is figured out, but I’m winging it all the way.

    Yes I still haven’t gotten it all figured out but one thing I’m doing this 2019 is letting go and letting God.

    I am not setting unrealistic goals and time frames for myself ( I’ll share more on this in another blog post). I am just living life one step at a time and singing Hillsong’s oceans (where feet may fail) and praying “spirit leads me” all the way long.

    I feel less burdened sharing this. And I hope this goes a long way to show other millennials out there dealing with career confusions and insecurities that they aren’t the only one.


    If you have ever been at this stage of not knowing whether you are in the right career path or not, I’ll love for you to share, so other can learn from your story.

    If you have also figured out your career purpose and all, please do share how you did, so we can all learn from you.

    dealing with career confusion and insecurities

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    Gift Collins
    Gift Collins

    Gift Collins is an ingenious creative. She loves to put her polished thoughts into words and pictures to create beautiful stories. She is a media girl-in and out.
    An experienced Filmmaker, Scriptwriter and Blogger. She also has skills and experience in social media management.

    Welcome to her space, it’s yours too!

    Find me on: Web | Twitter | Instagram

    Don't hesitate to tell me what you think.

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    8 Comments

    1. January 31, 2019 / 12:07 pm

      When I first left the university being a graduate of English and Literary Studies, I was super confused. Everyone said I had to be a teacher or lecture. I tried to go onto teaching and I hated it. It was a little stressful and not something I enjoyed doing, so I opted out.

      I thought of learning some handwork but all those things are not meant for me as I would rather prefer someone doing those things for me.

      I kept on trying and quitting until I finally realized I love people’s management. I love handling things and being responsible for my actions. I thought HR it is then.

      Now I realized, I have a crazy love for creating and recreating my own style. I have started my own fabric business but I want to do more with it. I am still praying and planning a whole lot on that and also saving for it, lols.

      I haven’t completely figure out what i want to do but with time, I am super certain I will get there and manifest more.

      So hun, take it easy on yourself. We all get to that stage, just keep trying and horning more skills. Soon, it will make more sense.

      • January 31, 2019 / 12:36 pm

        Wow this is an eye opener Debs. But can I say you are amazing at what you do and I love your spirit. Thank you so much, I’ll keep working hard to be better. Thank you

    2. January 31, 2019 / 12:28 pm

      I can relate to this. I studied Medical Laboratory Science and at the same time, I’m interested in Psychology, Computer science and of course writing. Right now, I don’t have it all figured out.

      I don’t know how to tell my dad I want to pursue psychology but that’s by the side for now, later in the future perhaps.

      Then as for what I read, I want to do my masters in something that combines that and computer science and I’ve found the perfect program. As for writing and blogging, I’ll just keep doing that. Wherever opportunities come, I’ll make use of them.

      I don’t want to be limited by finding a specific career and so on. I have committed it all to God and whatever I have to do now, I am doing now.

      Don’t let all that bother you so much. Find whatever it is you are doing and can do, do it now and pursue it. No one is going to tell you this is the way to go, neither might you always have a feeling you should pursue this or that. Where you are, start something, do something and make the most out of it. Also, throw fear out of your heart, that thing cripples.

      https://theroyaldeviant.com

      • January 31, 2019 / 12:24 pm

        Hey Nakas, I am so glad you shared this with me, I totally understand what you say. I guess we will all figure it out. I am glad you have also committed it to God. And yes I’ll let go of fear and live!

    3. Niella
      February 2, 2019 / 9:38 pm

      I still haven’t figured mine

      Still in the same fix every freaking time

      Just told myself. One day at a time.
      Sometimes we all just want everything to happen side by side almost all at the same time

      *sighs* the struggle

      Thanks for sharing

      And I know you will do amazing things with your career this year. Rooting for you always ??

    4. February 2, 2019 / 10:22 pm

      I have been at the stage and to an extent I think I am. I have a BSc Degree in Applied Geophysics. It’s a great course but I don’t think it’s something I want to continue with in life basically because I was cajoled to read it. After school, I went for some trainings outside my field of study, attended seminars, conferences etc. It was through one of the conferences that I actually realised what I had passion for. So with time you’ll figure things out.
      Just don’t limit yourself for now. Try different things. As you progress and lose interest in some, you’ll eventually discover what you really love.

    5. Oluoma Udemezue
      February 4, 2019 / 4:16 am

      Yeah! It sure happens to most of us.

    6. April 3, 2019 / 11:34 am

      Trust me when I say no one here is more confused, ever than I am!
      Let me give you a breakdown of my list of practical confusions.
      1 I have SSCE for both art and science.
      2 I have a btec in microbiology and I am currently in 300L english language plus doing my service.
      3 I have a long array of talent and at the end of the day, I don’t know exactly what to do but one thing I know for sure is that I cannot live without writing in a day.
      4 I’ve just got the news that my husband of 7 years has left me to marry a lawyer like himself.
      Like you guessed, I was unable to choose a husband also. And now, almost 7 years later, I realised he is everything I never wanted in a man.
      A little about me.
      A die hard fan of film and books. I can read endlessly.
      My career focus.
      I don’t believe I know how to do anything else apart from writing and maybe graphic design.
      I love movies so bad that I can’t wait to have a script to my name.
      I want a job as a content creator and social media manager or web design,but trust me, I don’t know the half of how to seek for the job.

      You know, I wish I can actually get a real time job especially in this areas that I love.
      If not for anything, to prove to my husband that people who choose a living in this areas are not useless and can be successful.
      Most times, I’m very down and I get a little bit of joy from writing on my blog.

      At least, good to know that I’m not entirely alone in this! others have suffered this too. But mine has gone into a deeper level because at the end of the confused day, I have wrongly married and I have had three children already.

      Nice to meet you Gift Collins!

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